I recently attended a party where o couple had not RSVPd. The hostess called them out on it in front of a bunch of the other guests. My feeling is that if the hostess were that upset, she could have made a phone call expressing that she was upset. Her behavior caused the other couple to storm out and put a very uncomfortable damper on the party.

I must say, "Who has less class -- the one who behaves with no class or the one who watches?"

HG...great comment....I only had to watch ONCE and never will I waste my precious time on something so vulgar and UNentertaining as a reality show. If I want reality, I have a life of my own. I want to be entertained or educated when I sit down in front of the TV.

If we are categorizing levels of class, I would say the most classless is the one who is commenting on what another person chooses to watch to be entertained -- and then having another person confirm their lack of class. Entertainment in whatever form is individualized but manners and etiquette is not defined by the viewer but by the participant.

To stay on the subject of the blog, I was once told there are two types of class...first class and no class -- looks like most of the women on the reality shows are definitely flying coach -- great blog, because my pet peeve is rudeness and having no manners. Emily Post where are you when we really need you!

Well, when you consider reality shows, remember they are generally penniless people surrounded by three expensive camera crews on the clock dependent on something "outrageous" happening.

As to the larger question:

"Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest people uneasy is the best bred in the room."

-- Jonathan Swift

Okay, then, I'll keep talking. Most of the time someone commenting on other people's lack of manners (or home, clothes, or grammar) reveals their own esteem shortcomings more than the other person's faults. Someone who constantly comments about the lack of class in someone in their social circle is generally trying to raise themselves up in status by stepping on the heads of others who perhaps didn't benefit from the same cultured upbringing.

A subset of this that points it out best is the person that relays a nasty remark made by a third person to the target. The original remark may have been said in anger, jest or was merely thoughtless. But the person relaying it to the target knows they are going to hurt that person and knows they are going to hurt the relationship between the remarkee and the remarker. And, they probably perceive the opportunity for some piddling social advancement themselves in bearing tales out of context.

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