I admit it, I watch The Real Housewives of Orange County. It's a train wreck that I can't take my eyes off of. Last week there was an episode where one of the women, Heather, threw a party, and another guest broke a piece of the cake off and ate it before the cake was served. Then in turn, during the party, Heather called the woman out on it. I am not sure who acted with less class, the cake-eater or the host of the party?
This made me think, if someone makes a faux-pas in your presence, whether its a comment they make to you, or a party of yours that they ruin, is it OK to call them out on it? I don't think that it is. Isn't that being just as classless? What happened to taking the higher road? When someone's behavior embarrasses you, does that give you the right to embarass them? If grown women are acting like this on television, is it making it ok for women to act like this offscreen?
Are the reality shows on television now making it easier to justify our own classless behaviors? Is it de-sensitizing us to poor social etiquette?
I watch these reality shows in utter shock at the behavior of the women. I would never act like many of the women in these shows do, but I wonder am I in the minority?
Stacie Bohr
4:05 pm on Friday, July 6, 2012
I recently attended a party where o couple had not RSVPd. The hostess called them out on it in front of a bunch of the other guests. My feeling is that if the hostess were that upset, she could have made a phone call expressing that she was upset. Her behavior caused the other couple to storm out and put a very uncomfortable damper on the party.
cv
5:14 am on Saturday, July 7, 2012
@Stacie I would have said something to them also but not in front of other people.
HG
4:08 pm on Friday, July 6, 2012
I must say, "Who has less class -- the one who behaves with no class or the one who watches?"
Selene
5:41 pm on Friday, July 6, 2012
HG...great comment....I only had to watch ONCE and never will I waste my precious time on something so vulgar and UNentertaining as a reality show. If I want reality, I have a life of my own. I want to be entertained or educated when I sit down in front of the TV.
Judith
8:10 pm on Friday, July 6, 2012
If we are categorizing levels of class, I would say the most classless is the one who is commenting on what another person chooses to watch to be entertained -- and then having another person confirm their lack of class. Entertainment in whatever form is individualized but manners and etiquette is not defined by the viewer but by the participant.
Judith
9:22 pm on Friday, July 6, 2012
To stay on the subject of the blog, I was once told there are two types of class...first class and no class -- looks like most of the women on the reality shows are definitely flying coach -- great blog, because my pet peeve is rudeness and having no manners. Emily Post where are you when we really need you!
1819
1:12 am on Sunday, July 8, 2012
Well, when you consider reality shows, remember they are generally penniless people surrounded by three expensive camera crews on the clock dependent on something "outrageous" happening.
As to the larger question:
"Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest people uneasy is the best bred in the room."
-- Jonathan Swift
Melissa Sarsten
8:00 am on Sunday, July 8, 2012
1819 -
I love that quote - Thank You!
1819
3:21 pm on Sunday, July 8, 2012
Okay, then, I'll keep talking. Most of the time someone commenting on other people's lack of manners (or home, clothes, or grammar) reveals their own esteem shortcomings more than the other person's faults. Someone who constantly comments about the lack of class in someone in their social circle is generally trying to raise themselves up in status by stepping on the heads of others who perhaps didn't benefit from the same cultured upbringing.
A subset of this that points it out best is the person that relays a nasty remark made by a third person to the target. The original remark may have been said in anger, jest or was merely thoughtless. But the person relaying it to the target knows they are going to hurt that person and knows they are going to hurt the relationship between the remarkee and the remarker. And, they probably perceive the opportunity for some piddling social advancement themselves in bearing tales out of context.
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